Survive Your First Date

You scored her number and set up a date...

Awesome! If you got this much, she has an interest in you and things are moving forward. Now, you may be a bit scared about messing up things on the first date. This is perfectly understandable and normal. Because a first date can be awkward and exciting at the same time, here is a no-nonsense guide to surviving your first date and setting up the second date!

Before you go out for your first date, there are a few things you should keep in mind.

Hygiene

The quickest way to foul up a first date is to have poor hygiene. Not to mention, it can create an awkward situation - you want this experience to be as stress-free as possible, so let's get scrubbing!

• Take a relaxing shower or bath

This will calm your nerves a bit while you get squeaky clean.

• Do a little grooming...

Take the clippers and give your personal areas a trim. If you keep your personal areas trimmed, it reduces the smell of natural odors that come from the sweat glands that like to leap onto your hair. You don't have to "Bic" it, just give it a clean trim.

• Floss, floss, floss

Brushing just isn't enough! Flossing reduces bad breath on top of making your smile look great. Give the old tongue a good scrubbing too. If you have it, swish around some mouthwash.

• Put on some non-scented deodorant

It may be tempting to bathe yourself in cologne or use a powerful body spray. I would not recommend this. Non-scented deodorant will keep you fresh and keep your date focused on you. You want your date to be focused on you and not your "aroma", right?

• Manicure your nails, pedicure your feet

This would also fall under "grooming", but I think it deserves its own section. If you haven't clipped your nails back, now would be a good time to do so. Long nails are fun for guitar, but may be a bit much for your date. If its warm out, or you think your date may get a chance to look at you feet, take care of those toenails too.

• Find clean clothing to wear

This one may be self explanatory, but you really don't want to roll in on your first date wearing something that isn't fresh. If in doubt, ask for a friend or someone trustworthy to smell you. The best thing to go with would be something fresh from the laundry or dry-cleaners.

OK, looking good! Let's move along...

Map It

As crazy as this sounds, it is possible to get lost on the way to meeting up with your date. If the place is new to you, I highly recommend that you map it online.

Bring Money

Yes, we live in the credit card age - but let's face it, sometimes your credit card can run into problems. To keep things simple and on budget, take out some cash and keep it on hand. I also recommend that you pick up the tab for everything you go out and do together. It makes you look confident and courteous. Save the double-dutch for when you get to know each other a bit better.

*note* Many women see the man paying for the first date as "expected", so don't expect anything extra because you fronted the tab. Your gentlemanly courtesy will score you points in the long-run.

Clean Your Car

You don't have to roll in with a fancy car to impress her. Something as simple as making sure you don't have food or trash all over the place will leave her a nice impression.

Conversation

A difficult thing to think about is what to talk about while out on your date. As a rule of thumb, I would avoid the following subjects:

• Politics
• Religion
• Tough issues: abortion, death penalty, etc.
• Past relationships (if she asks, keep it brief)
• Your mother

The basic theme in conversation is to keep it light, fun, and focused on her. Get her to talk about herself and leave yourself mostly out of the conversation. Some good conversation movers:

• Have you lived here long?
• Did you go to school (high-school, college) here?
• What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?

If what she says interests you, tell her that it is interesting, and ask her to tell you more about it. Remember, keep it light. All you are doing is just getting to know her better. Wait for her to ask about you. When she does, keep your responses positive but brief.

At a Restaurant

Selecting a restaurant can be difficult, but I believe the following rule makes sense: find a place that is a little more upscale than where you would go with your buddies. Go with with you know. If you know steaks, take her to the best steakhouse you know. If you know sushi, find the best sushi bar in town and take her there.

Note: it is polite and even encouraged to ask her if the restaurant you have chosen is OK. This keeps you from going to a place and having her turn her nose up at the food. She could be vegan, not like shellfish, etc. Have a plan B. Going for Italian is always a nice fallback.

When you order your meal, keep in mind that whatever you eat will end up on your tongue. I would recommend ordering things that do not have onion, garlic, or spices in them. If you do, see if your date will order the same food. This way, if you kiss at the end of the date, at least both of you will have onion breath!

Out and About

There are some that would say chivalry is dead. I think these people never saw good manners. Every woman likes to feel special, and this is done through good manners:

• Open the door for her
• Offer to get her coat
• Say please and thank-you
• Give her your undivided attention
• Compliment her appearance

Body Language

Most of the communicating we humans do is through body language. We all do it. When we see something we like, we turn our body towards the object of our interest and send out universally understandable signals that can be interpreted by other humans about what captures our interest.

Here are examples through body language that she is focused on you and the date:

• She is turned towards you
• She is leaning forward
• Her pupils are dilated
• Her body posture is "open" - her shoulders are back and her body is relaxed.
• She plays with her hair with her fingers
• She smiles a lot

Here are examples that show she is distracted or otherwise not focused on your date:

• She is turned to the side or away from you
• Her legs are crossed (while turned to one side)
• Her arms are folded
• She is hunched inward (while arms folded)
• She does not look at you
• She does not smile

If you read her body language, you can tell how well the date is going or if she is distracted by other things. The signs will be obvious if she is distracted and not focused on the date. She may have had a bad day at work, etc. If she seems distant, it is OK to ask her if something is the matter.

The Follow Up

When the date nears to a close, take some time to think about how things went. Was she responsive to you? Did her body language indicate interest? If things appear to have gone well, you may score a kiss out of this (if you haven't done so already). When you say goodbye, thank her for coming out and tell her about the fun time you had together. Go in like you want to kiss, but don't go all the way. If she pulls back or doesn't come in the rest of the way, it's ok. Just play it off and go with a handshake or hug.

What to do now?

OK, the date is over. How long do I wait to call again? Do I call? Does she call me? I recommend that no matter how well the date went, give her a few days to process the date on her own without you calling her. Leaving ambiguity and mystery lets her think about who you are and wonder what you are like. If all else fails, go with your gut.

Have fun, and good luck!